Training week 7/8 have been the most challenging so far.
I came out of the previous 2 weeks on a high from hitting some really big numbers (230 km between swim, bikes and runs in 14 days) And getting my 3rd place podium finish for the MEC half marathon had me feeling on top of the world!
I knew that for week 7 I was going to have to scale down the numbers to give my body a rest and I did just that. The temperature dropped severely that week and running outdoor became out of the question so I continued to train indoors, lots on the treadmill and a few swims. The weekend of the 7th was dedicated to spending some serious time on Zwift.
I signed up for a few Tour de Zwift races and was super pumped. Saturday was going to be a full day of Zwift, stage 1 and 2 on the Tour and some shorter runs sprinkled through out. Sunday was meant to be Tour stages 3 and 4. Seemed simple enough! As soon as stage one of the Tour started I knew I was about to get a severe ass beating. I could not keep up with the group as much as I tried! I realized part way into the race that I'd accidentally joined the A group and there was no way I could compete at their watt ranges! It was a long and painful ride, I was pretty much going full out for an hour and a half. When I finally crossed the finished line the results read 101st our of 117 riders. UUUUF. I was so broken after that one event that there was no way I could compete in stage 2 and I was definitely not able to go for a run. I was broken! Needless to say, the rest of the day was a right off. It was pointed out to me later that I had a popped blood vessel in my eye. I thought back to the ride and remembered the exact moment it had happened.. obviously I was pushing a bit too hard!
Sunday morning I woke up determined to redeem myself on the stage 2 of the Tour. The night before I had spent some time of the Zwift forum learning about calibrating the settings on the Zwift app, my bike and my Smart trainer. I made a few adjustments and was back on the bike bright and early ready for stage 2. I double checked that I signed up for the women's group 'C" level, surely I'd be able to keep up this time. This was a smaller group this time, only 17 riders appeared at the start line. I was there on time and ready to roll! 15 mins into the ride I was holding my own, middle of the pack but still struggling to keep my watts up to match the efforts of the pack. I held 9th place for most of the ride but for the last 15 k I was totally gassed and couldn't hold the spot. Eventually I lost the pack and was hurting physically. My left ankle was not happy with me and my hamstrings had no power left to give. I finished that race dead last. Dead fucking last. As I laid on the floor nursing my woulds and feeling pretty sorry for myself, I wondered if I ever wanted to get back on the damn trainer ever again!
So, after getting my ass handed to me on back to back days last weekend I went into the week on Monday in a shitty spot. I was hurt, bruised and battered body and ego. It was quite a different feeling than I had the week before when I was on top of the word. Monday came with more frigid temperatures and I had a flat tire on my way into work. I stopped at the shop to get it fixed and with my luck wouldn't you know it, the mechanic found a whole bunch of issues with my jeep that needed to get fixed ASAP. Over two thousand dollars worth of repairs needed and I was advised that it was dangerous to drive the jeep in current status.
So, since Tuesday I've been stuck in the house. I couldn't get to my coaching all week, it was too cold to walk and I didn't have a ride to get my bike to the training studio. In snuck the depression and dark thoughts. And of course, it was a very busy week at work and I was unable to be there in person. Working from home now and then is great but as a Leader its important that I be there for my team. I was feeling hopeless, trapped, angry, and broke. I needed to scrape the money together for the jeep repair, which I still don't have. I had to cash in some WJ shares and my parents were kind enough to lend me the money in the mean time.
On top of the mental suffering I was going through, my body was not happy with me from the aggressive rides of the weekend. I was having a hard time putting pressure on my ankle and was limping around for most of the week. I also got an infected canker sore on my mouth and could barely put food past my fat lip. When it rains.. it pours... I was also stressed because I knew I had a big race coming up on Saturday. The dreaded Hypothermic Half Marathon - the one I crossed the finish line backwards last year.. I pretty much stressed all week about it knowing that I was injured and that it was going to be nightmarishly cold! All week the weather was calling for -39 with windchill. I hadn't trained for several days so I knew going into the race I could be asking for trouble, especially with a banged up ankle! I managed to get to the Doctor on Friday, where she gave me some meds for stress, a requisition for ankle x-rays and ultrasounds and antibiotics for my fat lip.
Thursday and Friday I managed to drag my sad self out of the house and hobbled to the gym to try and get my body moving again, in case by some miracle, I was able to race on Saturday. On Thursday I was unable to run all together, Friday I managed a 7 km walk/run with some speed intervals to see how the ankle would hold up. By Friday night I was convinced that I should not, could not race.
| Cold Betty! #bettysquad19 |
I woke up feeling hopeful and excited to get moving. I successfully ran the 1 km warm up and the ankle felt OK, not great, but manageable. I came home, wrapped the ankle, got bundled up in many, many layers and headed to the start line. Of course the top layer was one piece of my Betty Sqaud 19 Kit !! GO BETTY!
There ended up being close to 200 people in the early bird half ( there was a 2nd event later in the day ) . It was -30 degrees and -39 with the wind chill. It was not a fun race. I had a hard time breathing, my asthma inhaler was frozen, my energy gels were frozen, I could not feel my extremities, I had a cramp for a solid 5 km before the half way mark. It was too cold to worry about my ankle, I couldn't feel anything past my hips anyways! I held a pretty good pace of 5 min/km for the first 11 km but then hit a wall for the last bit. 14 km and on wards was painfully slow. I was super impressed with the improvements running room made for this years event. There was lots of sign and and even a few volunteers to make sure no one missed any of the turns. Also lots of positivity from the other runners and volunteers kept me going to the finish line, where I immediately collapsed.
In the end, I finished the 21.1 km in 1 hour and 55 mins. It was the slowest half marathon I've ever completed. Given the conditions and all the other SHIT I was dealing with before the race its a miracle I even made it to the start line. To my complete and utter surprise I somehow came FIRST PLACE in my AG for the early bird event! 6th place Female over all. HAPPY CAMPER!!!
Looking back over the past two weeks, there have been a few lessons learned.
- Life can just simply be a BITCH sometimes and it comes at you out of nowhere.
- I need quality people in my life to lean on through the hard days, I don't reach out often enough for help. I am very grateful for the small handful of friends out there who kept with me during my dark days this week. You know who you are. THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU and NEED YOU.
- Inside my head can be a scary place and I need to keep my body moving to quiet down the negative voices.
- The rewards of sticking through the hard days and finding the mental strength to keep moving forward are HUGE and all the more rewarding when you know you have overcome some tough shit to make it past the darkness
- I need to work on finding a balance of work, training, rest and fun. I'm still in the all or nothing mindset.
- My time, emotions and mental health are precious and can be fragile. I don't have time or energy to waste on people/things who don't contribute to commitments equally or wholeheartedly. I will be cleaning house and moving on. I have big plans for 2020 on this topic. Stay tuned!

So, another long ass post is coming to and end!! If your still with me, thank you! If anything, these posts have become a great way for me to recap my learning and share some insights to those that are interested. If I can help even one person through their struggles or inspire someone to keep moving forward, that's a bonus :)
Next event is the Repsol 10 Mile Tri and Together Tri. Its an indoor - thank goodness- mini triathlon that I'm really looking forward to. I even get to compete with my Dad in one event! So stoked about that. Until then I'll be doing gentle training, following my Half Ironman plan and healing up the ankle.
Hope everyone is doing well and staying warm.
Thanks again for following along and for all the support.







